'I'm Headed for the Chopping Mall'

Day 62 without playing golf

That's right, chopping mall not shopping mall.

I picked that term up from the glossary of The WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook: GOLF. The glossary lists some golf sayings and their translations. Here are three of my favorites:

"I'm headed for the chopping mall." (Translation: I am playing a terrible round.)

"Well, that's an elephant's ass." (Translation: That shot is high but not very long -- and it stinks.)

"You're in throw-up range." (Translation: Your putt is close enough to make, but long enough that you will probably miss it.)

The Armchair Golfer